Posted by: Harry | July 10, 2008

Day Four: If Blueberries Result in Blue Turds, How About a Bag of Skittles?

I knew this guy once, years ago, back in college in the ’90’s. He was my roommate for a year, until my posters of Danzig, The Crow, Metallica, and Alice in Chains resulted in him feeling “spiritually oppressed” (it was a bible college–what can you do). Anyways, can’t call him a friend now as I never talk to the guy, but I came across a blog he had up and running while his family lived in Thailand for a short stint. One fateful day, a day I regret and hope never to relive again, I perused–shocks and horrors–his latest post. Couple of short paragraphs celebrating his sons graduation from diapers to pinching his biscuits in the toilet. Jeeeeebuz. An entire post? Are you fekkin’ serious? I just read through two paragraphs about a change in location for his kid’s stools?

Another time, a different friend of mine mentioned in passing conversation how his own trips to lay bricks resulted in the same aromatic offerings as his infant sons. Terrific.

I need new friends.

I vowed I would never write a post like that. Never. Never ever? Never ever ever.

I will say that Simone goes slightly cross-eyed at certain times of the day. Just throwing that out there.


Responses

  1. Well, we wouldn’t be parents if we didn’t have at least 3 conversations a day about the colour, consistency and aroma of our baby’s poo. Oh yeah, and the remnants of her dinner, which was hastily swallowed without chewing, that we find in her diaper every day. Sigh…where has the intelligent conversation gone?

  2. I too, vowed never to blog about poo or pee. Once toilet training for the twinados came around, I broke my vow of celiba-pee and found myself discussing more and more the trials and tribulations of toilet training. You will blog about it, sir. This I promise.

  3. Corn? When did I eat corn?

  4. I completely understand. As a parent I never thought I’d never discuss the subject of our children going to the bathroom (except to my husband of course.) Well as time goes on you seem to change. I often found myself proud of my childrens pooping accomplishments knowing that if that event had not occured our day would not have been so enjoyable! LOL

  5. How can it possibly be that after all this time the subject that stimulates most of the family is…..guess what!!!!! hahahhahah

  6. My family’s been talkin’ shit for years – usually at table; I love it, because it makes us all equal. The coolest of rockstars, the vilest villains and bravest heroes, the most dignified of Royals… all gotta drop a deuce at some point or another just like the dirty commoner, and the cycle continues. “Hey famous guy, you crap just like me! Do you wipe from the back or the front?”

    “Shitting – the great equalizer since mans first squat”

  7. Indeed, it does make us all equal–as does breathing, heart-rates, necessity of sustenance…and on and on.

    But isn’t this type of “equality” more a function of normalcy? It’s not like we have a choice about our bodily functions…at least not a long term one.

    And if we’re just talking about the normal, the unavoidable, then what makes it worth mentioning?


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